I'm like a lot of that have spent there whole life being overweight. Even as a little kid I was always fat. In my house growing up most of our food was homemade, we rarely ate out, but my mother was and still is an amazing cook. My problem was that the food was so good I would always overeat, and we ate a ton of fried food. As I got older I was stuck in a pattern of overeating at every meal.
As a child it was very difficult in school being the fat kid. Not everyone was mean, but it's always the most unpleasant memories that stand out to me. I remember being made fun of at least a few times a day, and it was awful. I hated it, but I had no idea how to fix my problem. Even once I was in high school it was still difficult. I had developed a hard exterior to keep others from hurting me. I just pretended that nothing people said every got to me, but when I was alone I was so sad and depressed because I was so fat. In high school I weighed 220lbs. Once I graduated and started going to college and working part time I finally realized that I could change my weight. So when I was 20 years old and weighed 230lbs, I started watching what I ate and exercising 6 days a week and managed to lose about 25-30lbs in about 6 weeks. At that time I started going out a lot with friends and dating so I stopped working out but managed to keep most of the weight off until I got pregnant with my first child at the end of 2006. My son was born in Aug. 2007, then I had a daughter in 2008.
So fast forward a couple of years, I was busy raising my children and keeping a house up and a husband, and I felt overwhelmed. By the end of 2010 I weighed 240lbs, and at 5'6 I was very round. I had been so busy taking care of the rest of my family that I kept telling myself that I just didn't have time for myself. I was so tired from having two toddlers to care for and a home that I just had nothing left of myself at the end of the day. My weight was causing problems in my everyday life. Besides being exhausted all of the time, my body was suffering from so many aches and pains that at 25 years old I should not have had. My knees and my feet were sore everyday. I did not feel secure in the way I looked that it interfered with my relationship with my husband. I hated when we would go out together, I felt like people would look at us and think "Look at those two, they look so miss matched" or "What is a guy like that doing with that fat girl"(Since my husband is about 5'10 or 11 and weighs a whole 165 or 170lbs).
Finally, I knew I had to make the change, I couldn't go on living the way I was or feeling the way I felt. And in January of 2011 I made a promise to myself that I would change and I would feel happy with myself again. This is the journey that I am still continuing on. I've been working on myself for a year now and I'm still not finished. This road to a new me is long and has many mountains and valleys, but I keep looking toward my destination of feeling good about the way I look and I keep pressing on. It is never easy, everyday I have to wake up and tell myself that I am going to eat good food and not overeat, and that I will do my workout, even though I may not want to. I have to give myself pep talks all the time and remind myself that I may only have a small support group but I cannot let myself down because I really am my toughest critic.
If you have any of these same feelings, don't waste anymore time. Even if you have to do it on your own, just know that you can do it. We are all much stronger than we think, and that is where the real secret of losing weight lies, in yourself and your strength.
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